


a study on love (elriel)

by Sleepyfangirlx



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Elriel, F/M, Queer Themes, canonverse, queer! azriel, queer! elain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepyfangirlx/pseuds/Sleepyfangirlx
Summary: Elain Archeron was living a lie.It had started with the mortal girl in the village.orIf Elain and Azriel were both queer.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	a study on love (elriel)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to the lovely @amusedowl for reading this through! 
> 
> This is an idea that I would love to explore more. As much as I love this series, it definitely needs more diversity, so I decided to create my own.

Elain Archeron was living a lie. 

It had started with the mortal girl in the village. She’d first seen her when they moved into the broken cottage after they had lost everything. Elain had glimpsed her several more times over the years that Feyre kept them alive. They never spoke, just nodded as they passed each other in the markets. According to the vendor that she spoke with as she used what little money she had to buy food, her name was Rosina. Rosina was a darling in the village. Her shining golden hair and her equally golden laugh were well known. Everyone loved Rosina and her emerald eyes and lyrical laughter. Elain also loved Rosina, though they had never spoken, but in a different, more profound way than the rest of the village. Then Feyre left, and the Archeron's regained their wealth. Elain didn’t travel into the village much after that. But when she did, she’d look for the hair that was sunshine given form and the beautiful, melodic laugh that could bewitch even the hearts of the coldest stone. But then she met Graysen (her love for Graysen ran so much deeper than any silly crush) and the events that would change her world forever took place. But despite all that had happened, Elain sometimes wondered what had become of her first love. But she never spoke of it to anyone.

Elain’s relationship with Cerridwen ran slightly deeper than meets the eye. Maybe it was the trauma she had faced, the silent support the twins had offered her, the extra hours Cerridwen spent with her as she recovered. Maybe that’s why she had begun to feel more than just friendship. She never said anything to anyone about these feelings that had blossomed like a rose in spring. Though she was sure that Nuala had noticed the faint blush that had coated Elain’s cheeks every time Cerridwen complimented her cooking or when her fingers brushed against Elain’s neck as she did her hair. But she never said a word. And Elain never spoke of it to anyone.

Then it was Morrigan. Morrigan and her gorgeous red dress and blinding smile. She understood why Azriel had spent centuries pining over the magnificent creature that was Mor. Elain could count on her laughter to light up the room, for her cheer and optimism to brighten her day. Her life at that point was difficult for her to manage. She struggled with the idea that she was shackled to a fae male for the rest of her life, with no say in whether that's what she truly wanted. She wanted to forget her past, her present and spend the future watching Mor dance wildly, carefree and happy. Spend the future with Mor and maybe, if she was lucky, get to taste her soft lips just once.

Elain Archeron has long had feelings for females. She had locked them away, unable to cope with the tear in her heart, the confusion she faced. She had thrown herself into relationships with men to hide this part of her. But, she realised as she pressed a kiss to Azriel’s forehead, the one male she loves and chose for herself, that she should not be ashamed. It is who she is, as much as her being a seer or fae. And that she would hide it no longer.

o.O.o

Azriel had always loved Morrigan. That much was true. But there were times in his life that he had fallen for another and a small piece of his heart would stray from the devotion to Mor. Which was why, when he discovered that Mor and Cassian had slept together, his heat had splintered, snapped, shattered. Because not only had the female he loved chosen another, but the male he loved had chosen another as well. It was as if the fates had aligned against him. The two who had held his heart without knowing had chosen each other. It was something almost biblical. A punishment perhaps, for having such feelings? But it had happened, whether fated or not, and something inside of Azriel broke. And he told no one.

The only other time his heart strayed was only realised when all was lost. Rhysand had gone to attend Amarantha’s party Under the mountain and had fallen into her trap. The message he sent them was fleeting, terrified and urgent: ‘protect Velaris at all cost’. It was only then that Azriel had realised that he felt something other than a kinship for Rhys. Something inside him had become enamoured by the high lord. And it terrified him, this undying devotion that seemed to drown him. He did not breathe a word of this to anyone.

Whilst his love for Cassian and Rhys has spluttered out (he still loved them but as brothers) Morrigan's flame burned strong in his heart, until he met Elain Archeron. This gentle mortal turned high fae, enchanted him in a way he did not know was possible. His love for Rhys, Cassian and Morrigan seemed weak compared to the wildfire inside him. Elain may not have been his mate, but his soul and heart had chosen and he loved Elain with more than he could give. And, he realised as he contemplated his past, his previous loves were nothing to be ashamed of, that it was a part of him as much as his shadows and wings. And he would no longer hide it.

o.O.o

“Azriel?”

Elain stepped onto the balcony that stood outside their room. It looked over the Sidra which glittered in the moonlight. It was past midnight and the rest of the rainbow was sleeping. Azriel stood, leaning against the black rail with a melancholy look on his face. Despite the chill of the night, he had only a thin shirt and his wings were free and stretched out behind him. Elain stepped closer to his hulking form and gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

He turned to look at her, his eyes filling with love and nerves. He slipped a hand around her waist, his hand bunching the thin fabric of her nightgown.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” He asked her. His voice was rough, but not from sleep. Something was bothering him, she could tell.

“I could ask the same of you.” She replied. “What’s wrong?”

He looked away from her and out onto the sleeping Velaris.

“It’s just-“ he trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

“It’s just what?”

He shook his head, not wanting to complete his former sentence.

“Will you tell me, if I tell you something in return?”

“What do you want to tell me?”

Elain took a deep breath, steeling herself for the oncoming reveal. She had decided that she would no longer hide this part of herself, but she wasn’t sure how Azriel would react.

“I love females.”

Azriel turned to look at her sharply.

“What?” His voice was low, guttural. “I don’t understand. Do... do you not love me?”

“Azriel, no.” Elain put her hands on Azriel’s cheeks, forcing him to look at her. “I love females the same way I love males. I can give my heart to both. But I love you more than anything else. Loving two genders does not take away my love for you, in any way at all.”

He swallowed deeply and rested his head in the crook of her neck.

“I just wanted to tell you. I no longer wanted to hide who I am. I love you, and I want you to know every part of me.”

She both felt and heard Azriel take a breath before he lifted his head and looked at her.

“I am the same. I love both females and males. And I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Elain let out a startled laugh.

“We really are a pair aren’t we?” 

They both grinned at each other.

“I’m glad I told you, my love” 

Elain replied to this by kissing Azriel deeply in front of the rising moon.

“I’m glad we are free.”

_ finis _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated💖
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @stars-falling


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